Welcome to January's edition of "The Tour Tattle Show." Today we're not going to talk about the Tour de France but about the Giro d'Italia. You're all familiar with the Tour's Maillot Sisters, now we're going to introduce you to their Italian cousins, the Maglia Sisters. Welcome, ladies!

Now let's see, there's four of you - Rosa, Azzurra, Ciclamina and Verde. My, you're a colorful group!

Rosa: Oh please, you sound like those catty French girls: "Pink? What kind of color is that for a man?" As if they know anything about fashion - or men!

Q. Don't you all get along well?

Rosa: No, not at all. They think they're so much better than us, just because they get so much publicity. But I think they're just jealous, because we're so much prettier than they are. Poor Polka, all those ugly red spots!

Q. Rosa, what are you looking forward to in 2005?

Rosa: I'm not worried about this year. I'm in good hands now. We've only been together one year, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have a long-term relationship with Damiano.

Q. Are you sure about that?

Rosa: As sure as you can ever be about a man.... The only potential problem I can see is my "dear" cousin Jaune - I can just imagine her trying to take him away from me. You know what those French girls are like!

Q. Azzurra, how about you?

Azzurra: Well, I'm the kind of girl who likes change. I was with Massimo for two years, but one of those years I had to share him with Ciclamina - you can imagine what that was like! Or maybe not! Then I tried that big Viking boy Backstedt for a year before going back to an Italian last year.

Q. Just what is it you represent, anyway? What exactly is the "Intergiro"?

Azzurra: That's just part of my appeal: so few people really understand me. It just makes me more mysterious and desirable...

Q. Ciclamina, you seem to be settling down.

Ciclamina: Yes, I've had all the big names in Italian racing the last few years: Mario, Gilberto, Alessandro. Wonderful men, all of them. But I think Alessandro is the real thing. What talent the man has - and he's a good sprinter, too! I think this will definitely be a long-term relationship, and a very serious one, too.

Q. Um, didn't he just get married at Christmas? Might his wife not have something to say about it?

Ciclamina: His wife? Oh, really, we don't bother with the wives. She might have him for the rest of the year, but for those three weeks he's MINE!

Q. And finally - Verde. You look very sad.

Verde: Sad? Of course I'm sad. Such a cute, darling, appealing, young German as I had last year - and how he fought for me! I was thrilled! It was wonderful! And now what? What do I hear? Thanks for the good time, Toots, but it's all over! No Giro for him this year, he wants to concentrate on the... oh, I can't say it! It's those French cousins again! We just can't trust them at all!

Q. There, there, Verde. I'm sure lots of guys will be eagerly chasing you again this spring. You're always a very popular girl!

Well, that's it for this month. Join us again next time, when we invite the top French fashion designers to join us for a review of this season's new jerseys!

Note: With thanks to Ploner for the original idea!
Read more about the Maglia Sisters here.