By Azzurra and Tick

Read Part One and Part Two.

Why do pro cyclists shave their legs? Hot wax works better and lasts longer.

Oh, please, we're talking about men here, aren't we? They'd never be able to take the pain associated with hot wax. You know what delicate, sensitive little creatures they are...

Yes, indeedy... Gord Fraser by Jaime Nichols.

But just for comparison's sake... Photo by Cyclingpictures.de.

Why don't bikes have mini-bars?

Now there's a really stupid question - ALL bikes have mini-bars! They just call them water bottle holders!

Of course, if you really want a mini-bar... Courtesy Airstream.

Why do they have rest days? When the wives and girlfriends come to visit, the guys hardly have time to rest, do they?

Of course they do. When the women come to visit, the guys go directly to bed. To rest up for the race, of course...

"You must keep up, dear - there's only ONE rest day, you know!" Courtesy Sellwood Cycle Repair.

Why don't they ride reclining bikes or tricycles?

Reclining bikes - you think they should sleep or something? The trikes do have a certain appeal. Agewise, they would work well with some of the riders, like Cunego or Voeckler, and maturity-wise they would work well with some of the sprinters. Can't you just see Petacchi and Cipo and McEwen and Zabel sprinting on trikes?

Well, if we're talking about Petacchi.... Courtesy Fassa Bortolo.

Why does that young Russian have such long hair?

I can only assume that he doesn't get paid very much and therefore can't afford to go the hairdresser.

For a change of pace, occasionally Vladimir Karpets dons a turban...Photo by Bart Hazen.

Why does Levi Leipheimer not have any hair? And why is he named after a pair of jeans?

As to the hair, our current theory is that one day he was shaving and just got carried away. And as to the name, Wrangler Leipheimer just wasn't quite as poetic...

Here is Leipheimer, looking nonchalant, having cleverly disguised his shaving altercation. Photo by Bart Hazen.

What happens if the mechanics put the wrong pin-up picture on a bike? For example, Dr. Ruth instead of Pamela Anderson?

Why do you think Jan Ullrich only won the Tour de France one time? Ever since then the mechanics have "accidentally" put a photo of German politician Angela Merkel on his bike.

"So then I told him, 'Put Pamela back on my bike or you can just FORGET it!'"
Courtesy T-Mobile.

Do the same 9 riders pro team start the Tour every day?

You have just discovered one of the biggest secrets in cycling! That's the real reason the riders wear helmets and sunglasses - so no one will be able to tell them apart. That way the teams can take 10 or 12 riders and each day pick out the best to use.

Illes Balears-Banesto tries to hide waaay too many Pinarellos... Courtesy Illes Balears-Banesto.

If you look closely,  you can see all 85 members of the Postal team dressed to look like roadways, complete with yellow dotted lines. Photo by Cyclingpictures.de.

And here is an example of someone who didn't get the memo... Photo by Cyclingpictures.de.

"Vlad, we're really happy about your best young rider jersey, but we need to talk to you about blending in..."
Courtesy Illes Balears-Banesto.

Why do so many riders put on so much weight in the off-season?

Because they are lazy bums who sit around doing nothing but stuffing their faces in the off-season?

"Well, I've got time - it's only January..." Courtesy Jaime Altieri.

What is the purpose of the team time trial?

Sorry, but that is a question that is truly impossible to answer!

Photo by Dave O'Nyons.