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Nobody Loves Me
By Staff
Date: 7/18/2004
Nobody Loves Me

By Ploner, translated by Tick

Welcome to today's "Tour Tattle Show," where we go behind the scenes to find out what is really happening at the Tour de France. Today's topic: "Nobody Loves Me." Today's guest: Polka.

-- Polka, you say nobody loves you. Tell us about it.

-- Yes, that's true. I just have the feeling that the guys just don't care about me.

-- But you're in a long-term relationship.....

-- Yes, with Richard. We've been together for six years and he's a great guy, especially now that he's off the drugs.

-- But?

-- But other than Richard -- no one is the least bit interested in me. Now, Jaune....

-- That's your sister, right?

-- Yes, my older sister. I mean, she's been in an exclusive relationship for six years now too, but all the guys are still after her like crazy! And then there's Verde...

-- Your other sister?

-- Yes, my younger sister. The guys are fighting over her, literally! One of them even ended up in the hospital!

-- Do you find it good when the guys fight like that?

-- No, of course not. I am totally disgusted by violence of any kind. And there's this one guy who really scares me, this Robbie, he's just so brutal...

-- OK, back to your story. Do you want the guys to fight over you, too, or what?

-- No, no, not at all. I just want them to show a little interest. It would just be so great if Georg or Denis or Haimar would walk by and say, "Hey cutie, how about the two of us getting together?" I mean, I'd probably end up staying with Richard because he's so much better than all the others, but a girl likes to be asked, you know.

Now Richard just says, "Ok, Polka, you belong to me," - I mean, he just takes me for granted! - and the others just don't care. And that's why I feel no one loves me. I've even wondered whether it's because of how I look - all those red splotches - and thought maybe I should go in for a whole new look, maybe something in pink.

-- Let me give you some advice, Polka: Forget it! You're fine just the way you are!

-- At any rate, I'm just not happy with things the way they are now. I think there are a lot of other nice guys out there who would like to get to know me and, honestly, I'd like to get to know them, too!

-- Well, let's hope that Denis and Georg and all the others have watched us this morning -- they know now that Polka is interested in them and they just have to screw up their courage to try and take her away from Richard!

Join us tomorrow when our topic will be: Thomas, Jaune and Blanche, how much longer will this threesome stay together?

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